What to Say to a Girl Who Just Finished a Test

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Failing an test can make someone feel actually bad about themselves, not to mention embarrassed. But there are lots of ways you lot can encourage and help someone who has failed! Help them deal with their feelings nigh the failure by reminding them that anybody fails sometimes, and this one failure doesn't define them. You lot tin can also help them figure out how to do better next fourth dimension. Encourage them to notice a tutor, help them create a new study space, or share your own studying strategies.

1. i

   Remind them that everyone fails at some point. Failing an exam might be especially hard for someone who has never failed one before. Remind them that everyone fails at some bespeak, fifty-fifty if they don't talk about it. They're only man, and humans fail!^[1]

   • You can say something like "Everyone fails. There's people in this class who accept failed an exam. It happens to anybody at some indicate, and you can get through it!"

2. ii

   Let them vent. Sometimes they'll only demand to be upset, or mutter virtually the examination or the class. That's okay! Mind quietly, letting them get all of their emotions out virtually the failure.^[2]

   • Ask them to tell you how they feel, and let them talk equally long as they need to. Yous tin can say something like "Tell me how you're feeling about it. I'm here to listen as long as you need me."

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3. 3

   Tell them that this failure does non ascertain them. A lot of people who neglect an exam might think that declining an exam makes them a failure at life. Tell them it was one exam, in ane class. It doesn't mean that they are a failure at life, and information technology doesn't even hateful they tin can't be successful in the rest of the course.^[3]

   • Yous can say "I know information technology feels like you'll never become past this, but y'all will. Failing this 1 test doesn't mean that you lot're a failure. It simply means you hitting a bump in the road."

4. four

   Offering them positive examples. Correct afterward you've failed an examination, it'south easy to feel like you lot'll never practise anything well again. If you know someone who has failed the same exam or test (or a like one), but then became successful, tell them virtually it! It can remind them that skilful things will happen again, too.^[four]

   • For case, say something like "You know how everyone talks most how John is the almost successful alumnus we've got? Well, he failed this exact same exam. And he still did great!"

5. 5

   Advise that they accept a break. Afterward failing a test, some people feel like they have to immediately begin studying again. Instead, suggest that they have a bit of a pause, even if information technology's simply for a day. Suggest they take a walk outside, or fifty-fifty focus on chores at abode. A intermission can be good for their mental health.^[5]

   • Say something similar, "How near we go for a walk? It'll get your heed off of things and let y'all recharge a little bit."

6. vi

   Don't make fun of them. Failing a test can be a seriously demoralizing matter. And even if they seem okay about it, they might be hiding how they really feel. Don't brand fun of them for failing, or compare their score to yours.^[6]

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1. 1

   Help them figure out new ways to study. Ask how long they studied, how often they took notes in class, and if they ever felt like they weren't doing enough. Help them look up studying strategies on websites like Princeton Review, and select strategies they haven't tried before. Using a new strategy can yield dissimilar results.^[7]

   • Share strategies that you find successful. For instance, if you always utilise flashcards, you lot can show them how you lot organize your notes into flashcards.

2. ii

   Suggest they prepare a time limit on their reaction. Information technology tin can exist really easy to obsess over a failure for days or even weeks. Advise they requite themselves a sure corporeality of time – say, 24 hours – to react however they want. And so suggest that once that timeframe is over, they focus on moving forrad.^[8]

3. 3

   Help them create a new study space. Ask them where they study. If it's usually somewhere loud, with lots of distractions, offer to help them create a new space. Choose a quiet corner of their home to set up a desk and chair. Or help them scope out quiet coffee shops.^[9]

4. four

   Propose a tutor. Some people simply need help learning how to study or learning certain textile, and that'south okay. Advise to the person who has failed that a tutor might give them the boost they demand.^[10]

   • You lot tin can suggest they await for tutor services at their school, or through websites for companies like Sylvan Learning.

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1. 1

   Encourage them to contact their professor right away. If the exam they've failed might prevent them from passing the course or from graduating, they need to talk with their instructor correct away. Your friend might feel terrible most even talking about their failure, simply it's important to talk to the people who tin can make a difference as before long as possible.^[11]

   • For example, they tin say something like "Dr. Smith, I'd really similar to meet with y'all to talk virtually this failed exam. I'thou worried about how it might affect my ability to pass the class or graduate."

2. 2

   Help them figure out how to clear their business. Going to a professor and just proverb "You failed me and at present I can't graduate" probably won't become your friend anywhere. Instead, pretend you're the professor and let your friend practice making their case to you.^[12]

   • They tin can say things like, "I'grand actually concerned virtually this class because information technology could prevent me from graduating. I went over my notes and reading and I didn't meet the textile from the test covered there anywhere."
   • Or they can say "I experience I adequately answered the essay question. I've marked my essay in these 3 places that show my directly answers and I was hoping we could go over them and discuss my form."

3. 3

   Tell them to share whatsoever mitigating circumstances with their professor. If your friend had a migraine, or but got bad news from home, or was sick, they probably weren't at their all-time for the exam. They should share that data with their teacher while they're discussing their failure.^[13]

   • For instance, they could say something like, "I didn't say anything on the day of the examination because it felt like an excuse, just I was really sick and I retrieve that afflicted my operation."

4. 4

   Encourage them to ask the professor for another try. Some instructors take rigid rules regarding retakes, but if your friend has demonstrated really serious problems, their instructor might relent. They tin ask for a retake or for any possible extra credit.^[14]

   • For example, they tin can say something like, "Would you allow me to retake this exam?" or "Is there any extra credit I tin do to make up some of the points I lost? I'g really worried about its effect on my ability to graduate."

5. 5

   Tell them to stay calm. In a situation where a failing grade on one consignment might derail your friend's whole college experience, they might feel angry or want to say mean things to their professor. Encourage them to stay calm and polite during their coming together.^[15]

   • Practicing the conversation they'll take with their professor tin help them stay calm. Offer to deed every bit the professor and permit them get out all of their frustration before they even ask for a meeting.

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• Question

  What to do when your parents make you lot feel embarrassed?

  

  Klare Heston is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker based in Cleveland, Ohio. With experience in academic counseling and clinical supervision, Klare received her Master of Social Work from the Virginia Commonwealth University in 1983. She also holds a 2-Twelvemonth Post-Graduate Certificate from the Gestalt Institute of Cleveland, as well as certification in Family Therapy, Supervision, Mediation, and Trauma Recovery and Handling (EMDR).

  

  Licensed Social Worker

  Expert Reply

  It is unfortunate when parents might make you feel embarrassed for failing an exam. You might consider discussing it with them, and let them know that making you feel worse does empower you lot to move alee and perform better next fourth dimension. Be sure to admit if you recall you in whatsoever style did not put enough effort in.

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• Exist supportive. This is the very all-time arroyo at that place is; an understanding, caring, and helpful mental attitude will work wonders.

• Exist patient. Some people respond more positively to assistance and encouragement when you bear witness respect and understanding.

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• Avoid angry outbursts. If yous accept whatsoever disappointments, comprise them. Giving vocalisation to what you lot wanted from the other person'southward efforts will not assistance them whatever and it will often end upwards eroding their self-conviction and brand matters worse.

• Avoid existence a nag. Acting superior and displaying a "holier than one thousand" attitude lacks pity and empathy and will but set the unsuccessful candidate confronting you. Indeed, it can result in them feeling more rebellious and cause them to throw it all away only to spite you.

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Article Summary X

If yous want to encourage a friend who has failed an test or test, remind them that anybody fails, and that it does not define who they are equally a person. This may sound less cliche if you include an example of someone you lot know who has been very successful after failing an exam. But don't feel like yous take to exercise all of the talking -- ask them how they experience and let them vent if they need to. When they are washed venting, remind them that they don't accept to get right back to studying. Encourage them to take a break to feel better instead. To learn more from our Social Worker co-author, like how to achieve out to a professor after failing an exam, go on reading the article!

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